It’s World Prematurity Day so I thought it the perfect time to share a part of my story! Most of you know we have twin daughters. What you may not know is that they have been keeping us on our toes since birth. What started as a routine day in the 27th week of a fairly uneventful pregnancy ended in our daughters deciding to make their appearance. In the early morning hours of July 2013 our sweet girls were born 3 months early, weighing just over 1lb. each.
Now, I work in the medical field and I don’t think I had ever heard the term “micro-premie” until M & A were born. I was scared to death and filled with a million emotions when I looked at those tiny little fighters. The bitter part for me was that we had tried for so long to even become pregnant and in an instant I felt like our family was ripped completely away. In all, we spent three long months in the NICU. Thankfully, they were our first children so I was able to be by their side constantly.
If you’ve experienced NICU life you know full well it’s a roller coaster ride. One day is full of absolutely amazing progress and the next day is bad news or 1000 steps back. We weathered that journey with all its ups and downs. Those months felt like slow motion, yet at the same time flew by. When it was finally time to come home one baby was ready and the other was not. They had warned us this was a common occurrence with twins, but I was not ready. The next day I walked out of there with one baby and left the other behind. It literally ripped my heart in two. I split the next two weeks pumping, trying to be home for one baby and be at the hospital for another, and never feeling like I was doing enough.
I walked through this time with Jesus, faith, family, friends, and an absolutely horrible diet of junk food and caffeine. When we finally got both babies home I settled into a routine learning how to be a new mom and keeping them isolated throughout germ season. The months went on and then out of nowhere I was blindsided with horrible anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and extreme irritability. I was terrified to tell people what was happening because I didn’t want anyone questioning my ability to care for my children and I irrationally feared they would be taken away from me. So, on I pushed on until I literally cracked and was unable to care for anyone, including myself. Thank God for a supportive husband who reached out for help when I wouldn’t and for family to help care for our children. I learned quickly I was experiencing postpartum depression and began some immediate medical treatment in addition to seeing a therapist. It literally never occurred to me this could possibly be the issue. My thinking was this…..postpartum depression is sadness, tears, and depression. I had none of those, but I was literally beginning to fear the person I had become. After a few months I began to feel better and swore to myself I’d never shy away from telling that story. I want people to understand the symptoms aren’t always textbook. I was asked at the doctor if I felt the baby blues and always answered no. I think approaching Postpartum Depression with a question like this is an absolute failure to adequately evaluate postpartum patients, but that’s my soap box for another day. My desire is that all women know help is out there and that they understand the thoughts they are experiencing are much more normal than one might think.
Fast forward about one year and we have friends over for a first birthday party. In conversation comes up the topic of a women’s retreat and girls weekend. Now, I’m still feeling bad, eating terrible, getting minimal exercise and no rest. I decided to go on this trip with one of my best friends and there I was unexpectedly introduced to oils. I’m already liking the idea and start thinking about them more and more. A week later we meet up with Janey’s friend Melissa (another sweet friend now) and she tells me all about Young Living. I order my kit that night and from there on (because Janey sent me home with samples until I got my kit) I have been hooked and not looked back. I feel better today at 40 years old than I ever have before. I’ve regained my health, my home is toxin free and safe for my children, and I can rest assured what I’m choosing is 100% safe. I love that God dropped this opportunity into my lap unexpectedly and that I can look back on the last few years and see His plan. I share oils because they changed my life and I want that for others, but really I share them as my testimony which shows fully His love for me. So yes, I will share these oils with you because they changed my life, but what they really allow me to share is Jesus and His love for you. For that I am beyond grateful.